Blackadder    |     Blackadder quotes    |     Bottom    |     Red Dwarf    |     Alan Partridge

British Comedy: Blackadder quotes

back to British Comedy index page

Blackadder is, in my opinion, the best British comedy show ever produced. It's a "historical sitcom", taking place during the Middle Ages, Elizabethan England, the early 19th century, and the 1st World War. So you've guessed it, there were four series (of 6 episodes each) running on BBC TV from 1983 until 1989.

back to my British comedy page

These are quotes from only a couple of episodes, namely:





















Blackadder III, Duel and Duality

Blackadder : An unwise action, Baldrick, since Mad McAdder is a homicidal maniac.
Baldrick : My mother told me to stand up to homicidal maniacs.
Blackadder : Yes. If this is the same mother who confidently claimed that you were a tall handsome stallion of a man, I should treat her opinions with extreme caution.
Baldrick : I love my mum.
Blackadder : And I love chops and sauce but I don't seek their advice.

Prince George : Sink me Blackadder if I haven't just had the most wonderful evening of my life.
Blackadder : Tell me all sir.
Prince George : Well as you know when I set out I looked divine. At the party as I passed all eyes turned.
Blackadder : And I daresay quite a few stomachs.

Prince George : Then I shall flee. How's your French Blackadder?
Blackadder : Parfait monsieur. But I fear France will be not far enough.
Prince George : Well how's your Mongolian.
Blackadder : Chang hatang motzo motzo. But I fear Wellington is a close personal friend of the chief Mongol. They were at Eton together.
Prince George : I'm doomed. Doomed as the dodo.

Prince George : No wait Blackadder. Perhaps this disgusting degraded creature is some sort of blessing in disguise.
Blackadder : Well if he is it's a very good disguise.
Prince George : After all did not our Lord send a lowly earthworm to comfort Moses in his torment?
Blackadder : No.
Prince George : Well it's the sort of thing he might have done.

Blackadder : Tell me do you ever stop bullying and shouting at the lower orders?
Wellington : NEVER! There's only one way to win a campaign shout, shout and shout again.
Blackadder : You don't think that inspired leadership and tactical ability have anything to do with it?
Wellington : NO! It's all down to shouting. WAAGGHH!

Prince George : Ah Blackadder. It has been a wild afternoon full of strange omens. I dreamt that a large eagle circled the room three times and then got into bed with me and took all the blankets. And then I saw that it wasn't an eagle at all but a large black snake. And also Duncan's horses did turn up and eat each other. As usual. Good portents for your duel do you think.
Blackadder : Not very good sir. I'm afraid the duel is off.
Prince George : OFF?
Blackadder : As in sod. I'm not doing it.

Wellington : Come sir. Choose your stoker.
Blackadder : What's this? Are we going to tickle each other to death?
Wellington : No sir. We fight with cannon.
Blackadder : But I thought we were fighting with swords.
Wellington : Swords! What do you think this is, the middle ages? Only girls fight with swords these days. Stand by your gun sir. Hup two three. Hup two three.
Blackadder : Wait a minute.
Wellington : Stand by cannon for loading procedure. Stoke. Muzzle. Wrench. Crank the storm barrel. Pull tee bar.
Blackadder : "Congratulations on choosing the Armstrong Whitworth four pounder cannonnette. Please read the instructions carefully and it should give years of trouble free maiming."
Wellington : Check elevation. Chart trajectory. Prime fuse. Aim...
Blackadder : Look, wait a minute.
Wellington : FIRE!